‘Thank you Mr. Jones, we will do our best.’ Ngozi said as she and her boss saw their client out of the office.
‘Good job Barrister Oge; let’s make sure we keep this quiet.’
‘Yes sir.’ Ngozi said and waited for her boss to return to his office before walking away. She checked the time, it was quarter past three, and she hurriedly tidied her table and rushed to Funmi’s office. If Funmi knew about her plans, Ngozi feared Funmi might have run away. Ngozi brought out Funmi’s phone and messaged Seyi.
Funmi: Hello dear. Have you picked up the children?
Seyi: Yes ma! I’m in their school already, waiting for them to leave the play ground.’
Funmi: Thank you darling, I’ll make it up to you. See you soon. Love you.
Seyi: Love you too.
Everything was going according to plan. She entered Funmi’s office without knocking and was relieve to see her working on her laptop. Funmi looked up and frown.
‘Madam, where have you been? Have checked your office twice! Biko give me my phone. I want to call my children’s school. I’m late for their pick up already!’ She said angrily.
‘Calm down madam. Your children are safe and their father just picked them up.’
‘What are you talking about? Ngozi what have you done?’ Funmi said almost panicking.
‘I’ve not done anything, I’m undoing what you have done and it’s too late for you to back out.’
‘Undoing what? You can’t just meddle in peoples lives like that! In short give me my phone.’ Funmi said in anger.
‘Wait, wait, wait. Please safe your anger for the judge when you sit in the divorce court. What’s wrong with you? I’ve sat quietly listening to you pine and whine about your husband and unless you really want to lose your home like I lost mine, you will sit your butt down and listen the hell to me!’ Ngozi fired back.
Funmi open her mouth but nothing came out, Ngozi has never spoke to her like that and she didn’t know Ngozi was not married again. She did as she was told, she sat her butt down. Ngozi paced the room, walking off her anger. She shouldn’t have shouted at Funmi after all, she was a full grown woman, she was just overwhelmed by her own emotions.
‘I’m sorry Funmi, I didn’t mean to talk to you like that, it’s just that I don’t want you to make the same mistake I made.’ Ngozi said softly.
‘I’m sorry too; I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I’m sorry about your home, I had no idea.’ Funmi said equally sober. A bittersweet crept on Ngozi’s lips. She took the seat opposite Funmi.
‘Exactly my point, you see women with smiles on their faces but you don’t know what they are going through. Look, everyone has got a problem, the way you handle it is what that matters. When I became successful, I forgot my home, I was full of myself, I enjoyed what I do and I was very good at it. I wanted to be a successful woman, but you can’t receive without giving. I received everything I wanted but I gave my husband in exchange. My husband had his own fault but maybe if I wasn’t carried away, I could have savaged things. Funmi, it’s a lonely life without your husband, believe me. It’s like walking out of your house by four in the morning during harmattan with your cardigan on and around six am you lost the cardigan on a long and lonely road. That’s how it feels. I know it seems you are the only one taking care of your children but wait till he packs out, you will know it’s not easy. Do you really want that kind of life?’ Funmi, who was listening attentively, shook her head.
‘Good, first off, you are uptight, you need to get laid, secondly, you need to fuck your husband like it’s your last night on night because it is clear you have been denying him sex. If he’s getting it from outside, you are in trouble but if he’s still faithful, God really likes you! So this sex you are going to give him tonight is a do or die affair, you are going to throw everything you have into it. You are going to wake him up in bed with breakfast and you will get on your knees and say I am sorry, and then you will fuck him again. When I pick you up tomorrow morning, you should be crippled! Now, shut down your laptop and let’s go do some lingerie shopping, your husband should want to fuck you when he sees what you have under!’ Funmi shut down her laptop and took her bag; she followed Ngozi out of the office.
First they visited a sex toy shop, they got some sex drugs. They got the “sex fly powder,” “the 12hrs chewing gun” and Funmi started chewing immediately and then they got the “wet lube.” Then they visited their lingerie section and Ngozi insisted she got a matching red and white lacy bra and panties. Then they visited a boutique where they got a sinfully sexy white short gown and matching shoes and clutch purse. Ngozi drove them to a spar, where they both get the full body work, manicure and pedicure inclusive. They requested for a bottle of wine, Funmi poured her powder in her wine and drank it in one gulp.
‘How do you feel?’ Ngozi asked Funmi who just got up from the manicure chair.
‘I feel great, fresh, and sexy and I’m horny.’ She purred sultrily. Ngozi giggled, face two of her plan has been completed
‘Great, now go and change into your underwear and new gown, then I will drop you at home.’
‘Yes mummy.’ Funmi said giggling away. Ngozi laughed at her back. It feels great to do some good, to know you are part of repairing something already broken. If Funmi followed through and handled things well, then they could get Seyi to a counseling section and both of them could trash out their problems. Ngozi sighed, I wish someone has told me this or done this for me, she thought. A tear rolled down her right eye, she wiped it away with the back of her hand. She drowned her remaining wine and summoned the spar attendant.
‘Please prepare our bill. Do you by chance have a makeup artist her?’ Ngozi asked the girl who smiled broadly,
‘Yes ma’am, we do and its free for the first time, should I call her for you?’
‘Oh great, not for me, but for my friend. Where is a section?’
‘She’s at the corner of the beauty product ma’am.’
‘Ok, thank you darling, let me have our bill.’
There is something about being in this place, it makes you feel beautiful, free pampered and sexy. Ngozi was horny she needed to get her man to clear her bushes. She dialed a number on her phone.
‘Hello dear, how are you?’
‘I’m fine too. Where are you?’
‘Can I come over?’
‘Hmmm… ok, I will sleep over, but I have to choose the hotel.’
‘Ha-ha-ha-ha, you are not serious! I will text you the address once I find it.’
‘Cool. See you later.’ Ngozi ended her call and she looked up as she heard the clicking of heels against tiled floor. Her jaw separated from her face. The satin gown fitted her perfectly. It danced over her body, swaying as she moved. No man would be able to resist his wife in this unless it was truly over. Funmi smiled shyly as her friend admired her with open mouth.
‘Come on… Close your mouth!’ she said laughing softly.
‘Babes, you are beautiful. Please don’t give Seyi a heart attack oo.’
‘Do you think he will like it?’ she asked uncertain, checking herself over in the mirror.
‘Like? He would be crazy not to love it! There’s just one more thing.’
‘Ngozi! What again?’ she said feigning anger. Ngozi laughed.
‘Everything has to be perfect. We need make up on your face! There’s a makeup section here, let’s go.’ It’s been long since Funmi wore a 6 inches shoe so she took her steps one at a time, she didn’t want to embarrass herself. At the makeup section, they told the artist to give Funmi a nude but sexy makeup. While Funmi got her makeup, Ngozi went clothe hunting, she wasn’t sleeping home, she needed change of clothe.
‘Wow! This is really beautiful. I feel like I don’t have any makeup on.’
‘Thank you madam, that’s the illusion we want to create.’
‘Thank you, I love it. Do I pay you or you will add it to the bill?’
‘No madam, it’s free the first time you patronize us.’
‘Oh really, great! Please take this for your trouble.’
‘Awww. Thank you, ma’am. Please come again.’
‘I sure will.’
Ngozi waived through Lagos traffic, taking every short cut she knows. They arrived at Funmi’s house five past seven. She packed in front of her gate.
‘Here we are girl. Be courageous, I can’t help you from here onwards, everything else depends on you. Remember everything we talk about. And one last thing, never leave your house without saying “I love you” to your husband no matter what. Now go girl, break a leg!’
‘Thank you so much Ngozi, I don’t know how to thank you for everything…’ her voice faded into a whisper.
‘Biko don’t cry and spoil my hard work oo. Get out of my car, bye bye.’ She said jokingly. Funmi opened the door, stepped a foot down then turned back into the car and drew Ngozi into a hug.
‘Thank you. Wish me luck.’
‘Best of luck sweetheart. Remember I want details oo, make a video for me self!’ Funmi got down from Ngozi’s car saying,
‘You wish! See you tomorrow, bye.’
‘I will pick you up by 7 tomorrow!’ Ngozi called after her as she drove away.
Seriously, getting the children to bed was hard work. Where did they get that kind of energy from? Funmi could not have been doing this every day, the children must have planned against him. Thank God they have finally gone to bed. He had dinner and quickly took his bath. He went back to his citing room to watch the news and waited for his wife and her surprise. He checked the wall clock, 7:10. Funmi had said she would be home by seven, maybe traffic. He wouldn’t be surprised if she came in and said her phone was stolen or someone in her office was playing a prank on her. He checked his phone again and read their chat again. He couldn’t believe Funmi said I love you today; it has been very long he heard that from her. What could this surprise be? He was trying to curb his excitement so that he wouldn’t be too disappointed. He heard the key turning in the key hole; he pretended to be engrossed in the news.
The door opened and closed. Seyi said, ‘Welcome dear.’ Without looking up. Funmi replie, ‘Thank you.’ They room was quiet. A wave of sweet scent hit Seyi, and he wondered where that came from. He looked up and saw the person standing by the door, he refused to believe that was his wife..
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Written and edited by Olatorera
© 2015 by IBIOLAT communications.