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ROSIE’S DIARY: the happy ending. 2 (+18)




          I made up my mind to go to the shopping mall first before I go to the local market. I arrived at the mall at exactly five. I took in my surroundings and I couldn’t help but laugh! Why do girls dress up to SHOPRITE? I saw many girls in their Christmas clothes and wedding day making up roaming about aimlessly! Has the mall become a pickup bar? I rushed into the mall and went directly to the section I needed to be. I was going to make my own massage oil from scratch!


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          The secret to good business is to know your business. You have to know everything you need to have an edge over the next person and that means research and practice. I know my onions. There are lots of massage oil brands in the market but I have learned to make my own. There are different kind of massage oils for different types of massage and if you want the best result, you have to use the right oil. Since I was going to seduce a man, I needed some special ingredients too. My phone beeped and it was my bank alert tone. I checked it, my aunt has sent my share of the money.


          First, I went to the fruits and vegetables section and I got, olives, lemons, and oranges. Then I went to the spices section and I started searching for my spices. I was in luck, they had most of the things I needed and I could improvise for the ones I couldn’t find. I got cold pressed coconut, grape seed, cinnamon bark, coriander seed and vanilla flavor. I moved to the body care section and got Neutrogena oil; the Norwegian formula with natural sesame seed. I went to the utility section and got four small soft towels and two packs of scented candles. I mentally checked my list and was satisfied with my shopping list. I moved around and did some personal shopping but I couldn’t stay long because I needed to reach the local market to get the rest of the ingredients from my special shop. I entered Medi-Care that was just outside SHOPRITE and bought Neurogesic greaseless ointment before leaving the mall.


          I got to the market very angry because of the traffic and ruthless Lagos danfo drivers who were driving recklessly. Friday traffic! I navigated my way to the shop I wanted amidst women and men shoving food and wares into my face.

Alhaja: Eaeaeaeh! Sister Rose! Long time! Na your face be this?

Rosie: Alhaja! I’m fine oo. How are you?

Alhaji: Me dey fine. Wetin you go follow me buy today?

Rosie: Se you have original honey and Shea butter? I don’t want fake oo!

Alhaja: Arh-Arh sister Rose! You be original customer, I no fit sell you fake thing. Original dey but e don cost oo. As dollar don rise now everything don cost. The honey size you used to buy is now five thousand naira but ori is still five hundred naira.

Rosie: Alhaja! You wan pursue me for Lagos? Let me pay four thousand.

Alhaja: Walai, I no buy am like that! Oya pay four-five. Na last price be that.

Rosie: Okay. Bring it. Give me SPANISH GOLD FLY SEX DROP and HUMAN BODY LUBRICANT, the blue and gold one.

Alhaja: Na them be this. There are new products oo. I even get one we go give you plenty energy for bed. You no go tire!

Rosie: Enh-Enh? I go come buy that one later. That will be all for today.

Alhaja: Okay. Your money Na seven-five.

Rosie: Okay. This is eight thousand, use the change to buy things for your kids.

Alhaja: Arh! Sister Rose oo! That’s why I like you. Thank you very much. Quick marry so I can come and spend all this money you always dash me oo. Them go take that day!

Rosie: No problem Alhaja. Take care of yourself. Bye.

Alhaja: Bye bye. Come back soon oo!


          I got home tired and very hungry. I showered and ate my food. It was time to start my preparation but first, let me tell you about the ingredients and what they do to the human body.


          Shea and honey are two essentials every being should have. They have everything you need to make your body shine. They repair broken skin and heal skin diseases. Coconut has high lauric acid which is very healthy and good for the skin. It also has a sweet smell and a nice feel on the body. Olive possess a rich verdant aroma, it’s high in oleic. It reduces cholesterol in the body and improves blood pressure. Grape seed let the oil dry faster because of its high concentration of linoleic acid. Lemon is an anti-inflammatory, it’s cleansing and it promotes skin regeneration. Orange is also very cleansing and it has an uplifting aroma. Cinnamon is an anti-microbial, it has potent natural stimulant. Coriander seed is revitalizing, it stimulates the senses and also soothes inflammation. Vanilla flavor is just for a sweet aroma that elevates the mood. Neurogesic ointment is a finished product for pain relief. Neatrogena oil is a body cream. It has many types but I like the Norwegian formula with sesame because it dries fast but stays longer on the body. The SPANISH GOLD FLY SEX DROPS and HUMAN BODY LUBRICANT; popularly called SGF and HBL are my secret arousing weapon! Now that you know the ingredients. Let’s move to the preparation.


‘Joke! Joke!’ I screamed for our house-help. She ran to the dining where I was still sitting.

‘I’m done with my food. You can pack the plates. Please bring out my bio stoves and the equipment I use for my massage oil making. Wash and dry them and call me when you are done. Thanks.’

‘Se make I bring out the blender too?’

‘Joke! I said everything! Stupid girl. Go jare!’

‘Sorry small madam.’

‘Wait. Where’s my dad?’

‘He dey balcony. He dey read paper.’

‘Did you give him any refreshment?’

‘No. Na hin I wan take before you call me.’

‘Okay. Don’t bother. I will take him some.’ I went into the kitchen with Joke and I took some cashew nuts and juice. I spiced the juice with a little whiskey, just the way my father enjoyed it. He looked up as I entered the balcony and dropped the tray on the stood by his side.


‘Good evening dad. What are you reading?’

‘Just catching up on the happenings in the world.’ He tasted the juice and thanked me smiling.

‘Aunty called me today. She has a job for me. She sent her greetings.’

‘That’s good. Will you be seeing her tomorrow?’

‘I’m not sure. I will go directly to where she sent me.’

‘Alright. Don’t be too late.’

‘Ehm dad, I may not come home tonight. I want to see a sick friend when I’m done with my job. I may spend the night at her place.’

‘Okay. Where…’ Joke came in and we both look at her.

‘They are ready, small madam.’

‘How many times have I told you to stop calling her small madam? Her name is Rose! Call her Sister Rose.’ My father corrected her. I smiled at both of them. I really didn’t mind her calling me small madam.

‘It’s okay daddy. I want to go and prepare the things I will need.’ I kissed his cheeks before leaving him.


          I gave the grape seed, coriander seed and cinnamon bark to Joke who dropped them in the blender and blended it. I started squeezing the lemons and she joined me. We squeezed the olives and oranges too. I gathered their seeds and added it to the contents already in the blender. Then I gave the juice to Joke to strain the shafts away from the juice. I fired the bio-stove; I’m using the bio-stove because it has control fire and it doesn’t burn my ointment. I have two stoves, one medium and the other small; I usually take the small one with me when I do home service.


          I put the pot on it to heat up and added the Shea butter to it and when it was soft I added a little honey. While they were cooking, I mixed the juices together in the quantity I wanted and stowed it in the fridge. I drank the rest. I gave the pressed coconut to Joke who added the quantity of water needed and she covered it. I told her to keep it in the cupboard and she did. Soon the content in the pot has turned to liquid and I added my blended seeds to it. One minute later, I quench the fire. I mixed the content in the pot very well and covered it. I was done with the first stage of the preparation, the rest will be tomorrow.


          I told Joke to get my kit and I brought out the containers I needed. I squeezed the Neurogesic ointment into one container and the Neutrogena oil into another. I also poured the SGF, HBL, and vanilla flavor into different bottles. I checked the contents of my massage bag to make sure everything was completed. They were all there; a small pot, three ceramic bowls, small electric kettle, electronic extension box, body scrub soap and baby wipes. I added the small bio-stove, the scented candles, towels and my new containers and bottles. I went to bed with a sense of accomplishment.


          I didn’t sleep well. I was so excited about the coming day and my brain was full of strategies to reach my goal. I checked my phone and I saw the address Mr. Charles had sent me. Everything was going according to plan. I had a nightmare he canceled the appointment! Finally, it was two in the noon and I went to the kitchen to finish my ointment making. A wave of aroma hit me as I opened the pot. The shea butter had extracted the juice and aroma from the seeds I poured into it. I fired the stove and left the kitchen. I showered, generously sprayed myself with body spray and perfume. I put on my very short and tight bum-short and a tight tank top that gave a beautiful view of my cleavage. I went back to the kitchen, the mixture has turned to liquid gold. I quickly sieved it twice before it got cold. I put it back on the stove and quickly make a makeshift sieve with a white handkerchief. I poured the hot mixture on it and left it to strain while I went to my room. I made up my face lightly and went back into the kitchen to pack my well-sieved massage oil. I sieved the coconut water and poured it into another bottle. I brought out the olive, lemon and orange juice mixture from the fridge, strained it again and poured it in a bottle too. I packed everything in my kit bag and told Joke to load my car.


          It was time to execute my plans and catch my prey.


…To be continued next week Saturday…





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…To be continued…

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Written by Olatorera

Edited by Olatorera and Ola Adeyemi Smith.

© 2015 by IBIOLAT communications.

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